The Journey Before the Positive Pregnancy TestJan 30, 2020
Most of my friends start trying for a baby in secrecy, because no one knows how long it may take.
Often they’re afraid to get unsolicited questions or advice if they let people in-the-know. A part of me definitely wanted to keep it a secret, but I also felt convicted to be an advocate for the truth of what fertility journeys can really look like. So I decided to be a bit more open about it – to break the taboo. I slowly started telling people that we wanted to start trying “soon”, but still trying to sound ambiguous.
In reality, I had a plan. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a big planner. I knew years in advance that I wanted to marry my husband, so I planned out how to graduate early from college to make that happen. I also knew two years in advance that I wanted to move to Amsterdam. Planning to have a baby was no different. About two years ago I calculated that a baby in 2020 would be what we would do! Brooks would be 30, I would be 29 and I liked the well roundedness of the numbers 2020. We would be 3 years into living in Amsterdam, we’d have a good support network, good jobs, and an apartment we love.
The only problem was… you can’t always plan when you’re going to get pregnant. Because of the work that I do in women’s health, and most recently supporting women on their journeys to conceive, I felt like me, of all people, should accept that the timing of pregnancy, or being able to get pregnant at all, are not guarantees. Yet I couldn’t help myself, and so I started daydreaming, counting months from when we would try, and estimating our baby’s due date, etc.
While my journey was not a long one, and has a happy ending, I still wanted to share because I was so grateful for how the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) helped us.
I also think it helps other women to see that not all pregnant women’s journeys are, “I got pregnant the first try!” If you have had a long and painful fertility journey, you may read my story and think, gosh she had it so easy. I’m sorry if you feel that way, but wanted to share for the women who may just be starting out on their fertility journey or are considering it in the near future. I work with a lot of women who are recently coming off hormonal birth control and it breaks my heart how many of them think that as soon as they stop hormonal birth control, they will get pregnant. I wish more women knew that it can take time, but that we also have so many tools to help us and we don’t have to just try aimlessly or try when an app says we’re fertile or try for a whole year suffering in silence before seeking help.
The next chapter in this story – How FAM Helped Us To Conceive.
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